current work-at-home jobs, home income ideas, tips and
know about RSS? Click here to get detail and have jobs
and more delivered to your desktop daily!
Spouse Support for your Business
would like to work at home but my husband always comes up with
reasons why each thing I want to do is a bad idea. How do other
people get support from their husbands so they can work at home?
been fortunate that my endevors have always been supported by my
husband so I'm always surprised at how often I hear of people who
don't support their spouses dreams. I have talked to many people
who want to work at home and then say to me, "I have to talk
it over with my husband (or wife)." I'm all for decisions
being made as a couple but I find it odd that only one is involved
in the info gathering while the other seems to have the power to
say "yes" or "no" without having participated
in the info gathering. I
have this impression that women are telling their husbands,
"I want to work at home," and the husbands are saying
"Yes, dear." But when she finally takes the step, and
reality hits, husbands pull back. "Whoa! Where are you going
to find the time?", "What if you fail?", "What
is this thing you sent our hard earned money to?" (I should
add here that I know this happens to husbands too who'd like to
start a home business.)
Odds are the
questions the spouse raised were answered when the wife was
researching. But I bet that her spouse didn't visit a single
website or read a single email when he expressed his opinion. And
faced with a questioning spouse, she now has to explain her
choices and maybe begins to second guess herself.
If your spouse has
influence over your decision about working at home, then bringing
him/her into the mix early on will be key to your success. Its
hard enough to build a business without having a spouse who isn't
through a list of tips to help gain spouse support for your
work-at-home dream, you need to first understand why he/she
doesn't support you. For some spouses, there is a fear of
financial ruin particularly if you are currently working outside
the home. This is a legitimate fear and should be addressed. Some
spouses don't like their routine disrupted and working at home
requires a change in the home routine. Some spouses just aren't
the supportive type which goes much deeper than just working at
home. By understanding your spouse's reservation, you can better
address his fears and hopefully gain his support.
Here are some ideas
to help get your spouse on your side:
1) In most cases,
it is very important to have your spouse read all the materials
you read, listen to any recordings or calls, and talk to those you
talk to as well. That way he/she can get the same information you
do without your trying to explain it and missing something
important or not being able to answer his question. Any questions
or concerns can be raised and explored together. If he is
resistant in participating in the research and evaluation process,
then let him know that he will need to trust that you can make a
good decision and support whatever decision you make. How can your
spouse influence your decision when he doesn't have all the
information that you have?
2) All successful
businesses have a business plan that outlines financial aspects.
How will the business be funded and maintained? Many spouses worry
that the family will fall into poverty if you quit to work at
home. Therefore, make a plan to show that you won't let the family
finances suffer. How much will working at home save you
financially (Check out this great Cost
of Work Calculator to show how much a job outside the home may
be costing you.) Will you work your business around your job? Will
you work to live six months on one salary saving the second income
to be used to start the business and live on until the business is
successful? How will you ensure your business does grow?
3) Make a plan that
shows how you are going to fit your business in with what you
already do and how it will benefit the family in the long run. Let
your spouse help with goals and even reap some of the rewards. My
husband puts the kids to bed (baths, lunches for school etc) so I
can work because he would like a trip to Mexico during the winter
and a new boat.
4) Plan for
household management. Because I am home, I usually make dinner and
take care of things that need to be done such as scheduling
repairs. But I do work so my husband and children help with
household chores as well.
5) Make a schedule
so you have clear work and non-work hours. I work a lot in the
evening but I don't work 3:30 pm to 7 pm; this is family time. I
tuck my kids in at 8:30 pm and sometimes I work some more. But at
10 pm, I'm off for needed down time and hubby time.
6) Finally, let
your spouse know working at home is important to you...if it is.
Often home businesses, especially those run by moms, are seen as
little mommy hobbies. And its okay if it is just a hobby. But if
you are looking to make this your "career" or if its
important to you, you need to convey that to your family.
business trainer and I were talking one day about how people give
up their goal of working at home before they get started.
"The Martians get them," he said. He calls the dream
stealers Martians but I like to think of them as lemmings.
Lemmings are those creatures that follow all the other lemmings
even if its off a cliff. People tend to be like that; not wanting
others to break away from the pack particularly to be successful.
As long as the lemmings keep everyone in the pack, they can blame
their circumstance on anything (the economy, the weather, their
spouse, their boss, their kids, their lack of time.... etc) but
their own failure to take action.
When you break
away, strive to do and be more, the pack will try to rein you in
so they don't look mediocre. Their attempts to hold people back
are often disguised as concern, "I hope you aren't setting
yourself up for disappointment." "I hope you know what
you are doing." "I heard those things never work."
Other times they might just try to beat you down by making fun of
you or saying that you aren't smart enough. "No one is going
to buy from you." "I can't believe you fell for
that." "That'll never work." The sad part is that
friends and family, the people who should be the most supportive,
are often the first ones to question, tease and even discourage.
But, if you really
want to succeed in working at home, you need to hold firm to your
dream. Do you think people thought stay-at-home mom Mrs. Fields
was crazy to think she could open a store selling her chocolate
chip cookies? Do you think people thought Mary Kay Ashe was nuts
to think she could support her family selling her cosmetics from
her kitchen table? Do you think people thought J.K. Rowling was
wasting her time sitting in that cafe day after day writing about
Everybody starts at
the bottom with only a dream. Mrs.Fields did. Mary Kay did. JK
Rowling did. I did. None of us let the lemmings in our world (and
those sometimes lurking in our psyche) hold us back. If your
spouse is holding you back, take a good look at why. It may be
that one of the suggestions above will help him understand what it
is you are trying to accomplish and how. But if its an effort to
keep you in the pack, then sometimes the only way to get through
to them is through success. Show them that you believe in yourself
and your goal. Make a believer out of him by succeeding in your
WAHS Leslie is Leslie Truex a stay and work-at-home mom who has
been helping people work at home since 1998 with her web site Work-At-Home
Success. She is also the author of Jobs At Home: A Complete
Guide to Finding a Work-At-Home
Job. Ask WAHS Leslie is a weekly column. You can submit a question
to Ask WAHS Leslie by emailing